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Divorcing with integrity

New Mexico residents considering divorce may be wondering how to ending their marriage with integrity, rather than with anger and bitterness. The end of a marriage has three phases: emotional, legal and spiritual.

Ending a marriage with honor and honesty can help preserve a future relationship with the ex-partner. This may be especially important if there are children to consider. Treating a partner with respect and dignity can help prevent hurt feelings that may trigger vindictiveness and lead to lengthy legal battles, increasing expenses and future friction. Treating a partner with consideration may go a long way toward preventing a lifetime of ill will and regret.

When the decision is made to divorce, it is important for the one that wants the marriage to end to be clear and specific about their intentions. They may also need to set boundaries to minimize arguing and show empathy for the feelings of the other. Admitting ambivalent feelings and making amends for bad behavior is recommended, as is thanking the partner for the good that has come from their marriage. Sharing priorities, such as children, or preserving the relationship, may soften the blow and allay fears of financial ruin. A divorcing spouse must have patience with a partner's negative reaction in order to give them time to accept the split.

Divorce is generally a complex process, often involving spousal support and child support and custody issues that require a consideration for the best interests of the child. Property division may also require the expertise of an attorney when determining the differences between marital and separate property and the various types of assets and laws that impact the division. Divorce mediation may be helpful in minimizing disputes and financial strain.

Source: The Huffington Post, "Ending Your Marriage With Integrity", Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., February 03, 2014

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